Foxy Badger Inspired

foxy-badger:

I’m in this horrible situation. Becasue maybe, in August, I will have a new home. But not with him :( And the idea fucking hurts. Because I’m so ready to live with him. But apparently, he is not.

My Bf, Theo and I really want to move in together. But my attic is just too small for that. Last august I had a huge breakdown when I was at my mum’s in Sweden because I then lost my job and would have to cancel my plans to go to university that year and that I disliked the place where I live now.

A summary of my house: It’s above a shop. The owner is an acquaintance of my stepdad. My stepdad does his administration and shit. It’s a really nice place to live on your own, but it has its flaws: it’s drafty, cold, damp, extremely hot in the winter, and doesn’t have a front door but a garage door. I get my post through the shop (so only on tuesday-saturday cus that’s when the shop is open) I can’t receive big parcels or receive guests that easily and explaining my address is REALLY complicated. Next to that, I’m actually not allowed to live here. It’s not a registered building that is suitable for living. It’s a shop. And you’re not allowed to live in it. So I’m not allowed to register myself to live in this city. My parents moved to Sweden and I don’t have any contact with my dad any more. So my mum arranged that I could register myself with a friend of her. 50 fucking KM away. All my official post goes to that address and they sent it one. But when I need official business (like passport and shit) I need to travel to the city hall in that city to get it all fixed. If I get caught, I risk a huge fine and will be forced to pay a lot of money from my previous student loan back, even though I deserved it and ethically I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t live with my parents, but I was just not registered correctly. And all together, I pay 500 euros a month all in. For this tiny space. Just to have a roof over my head.

I have to admit Theo pays half my rent because he’s here so often and I wouldn’t be able to cope otherwise.

I lost my job recently… AGAIN. So I’m on welfare now. 650 euros a month, and probably less next because you get the first few months 75% of your loans and later that becomes 70%. My total out going money is 615 euros… I’m actually okay with not having a job atm, because I’m starting University in September. Like I said, I had been planning to go back last year but because my beloved daddy decided to cut me off from one day to the other, I was forced to work full time. But I know now that working full time is just not my thing yet. I haven’t got any degrees so there are not many jobs to choose from. Theo therefore decided to give me a loan for schoolstuff and my income after August would be my student loan from the government.

BUT, it is now May (duh) and he still hasn’t done anything about house buying shit. We went to see ONE house. ONE house. In 9 months time. And it wasn’t even the house we wanted to see. It was an example of the flat we liked… I keep telling him to call the estate people but he keeps forgetting it. Maybe he’s not interested enough? He doesn’t care? NOW is the time to buy a house with the prices to low! I know buying a house isn’t like buying groceries, but hell, wait any longer and thing may change. For better OR for worse.

The house we have our eye on is PERFECT. It’s even big enough for if we decide to start a family. But he’s just too indifferent about it and I’m afraid someone else will buy it.

Therefore, I have given him a warning: if he doesn’t find us a house soon, I will move out of this place myself and move in with my best friend. He lives in a squat that the government rents out (to prevent punks from breaking in XD).

He’s upset now. Not answering his texts and pretending to be asleep. But he has to know that I am FUCKING fed up with his tardiness.